Still

It was movie night and my husband and son were glued to Karate Kid (the new one with Will Smith’s son). Observing the influence of a female counterpart the Karate Kid asked Mr. Han, “How did she do that while she was doing nothing except being still?” Then Mr. Han said these profound words, “there’s a big difference between being still and doing nothing.” Wow, no wonder he is the Kung Fu Master?

There is a big difference. We all know the results of doing nothing whether we are moving in circles and accomplishing very little, or just choosing to give in or give up. But, being still before God is an active state. When I’m still, that’s when I can give all of me to God. To seek direction, actively listen and receive confirmation from Him. When I do this, I have what I need to be a loving wife, a good mother and everything else that God has called me to.

Most days I am very busy, I’m always doing something or going somewhere. I’d love to just sit still and be, but I’m afraid I won’t get anything done. I’m afraid of being thought of as lazy. Growing up with a military Dad, we were not allowed to just sit around doing nothing. Being busy appeals to our sense of being productive, making progress, and having a good work ethic. Yes, those are all good things, that good people do, to be good stewards of time and resources.

But now that I’m an adult, I continue being busy all the time and it’s exhausting and not always productive. Unfortunately, I’m passing on that expectation to my son. I won’t allow him to be still. He often tells me that all he wants to do is, “nothing.” He’d like to come home from school and do nothing for a minute, or two. I sometimes agree to it, but I feel the need to remind him of all the things that will be waiting for him when he’s finished “doing nothing.” I am playing old tapes in my head.

I don’t think that is the most beneficial way to be anymore.

There is never an end to the work in this life, or getting everything checked off your list for good. Busy can just be a distraction from where our attention should be. So for the past six months, I’ve intentionally created more space in my life for reflection on what I do, and why I do it. I’m meditating upon one scripture:
Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.”
There is so much freedom in these words. First we have the physical rest to just stop for a while and let our minds slow down and focus on things above. When I make space for this reflection time, it reminds me of my true motivation. I want to do what God wants me to do, when He wants me to do it. My busy activities should come from the desires and opportunities God puts in front of me.

Not only do I want this for me, but I want to give this gift to my 11 year old son. My son needs encouragement and permission to be still, so he can hear from God. I can lead him in this way and teach him the benefits of being still.

A friend challenged me to choose a New Year’s Resolutions for 2017 that was not a list, not even one sentence, but simply one word. Knowing God has put this call in me to come and be with Him I knew I had one word, and my word is “still.”
I can’t wait to be still this year and see how things are re-ordered. I can’t wait for the rest and to draw closer to God in my quiet times. I have a feeling I may accomplish more than I ever have before, by being stopping everything to be still.

Confessions of a Night Owl

Just do it, go to bed at a decent time every night! OK, if not every night at least 5-6 nights per week. I could certainly use some of the many health benefits from doing this oh so simple task:

• Weight loss, I need all the help I can get in this area
• Lower blood pressure, maybe get off my medication
• Increased patience, my son would love this one too
• Better memory, remember why I went upstairs
• Younger looking skin, no one could guess my age
• Les chance of developing Alzheimer’s and dementia
• No under eye circles, no need for make-up
• Better focus ability, not so easily distracted
• Just to name a few (without Google assistance).

Unfortunately, I’ve developed a BAD habit that is unbelievably hard to break. I’m hoping that with this confession, it’s the beginning of a new habit and a new bed time for me. Even though I’ve become a night owl, I still love the dawn best. The time just before daybreak is so peaceful and quiet, everything is still. I think that’s when I feel or sense God’s presence most.

Confession details: I needlessly stay up until 1 or 2 a.m. most nights.   On school days my alarm goes off at 6:30 a.m. Yes, I know that’s only 4-5 hours of sleep, 5 days per week. How can I expect to be all God has called me to be (faithful Christian, loving wife, patient mother) without appropriate rest? Even God rested on the 7^th day (Genesis 2:2-3), then He blessed the 7^th day and made it holy. I’m sure there’s a blessing for me when I obey and rest. Even Jesus slept on a boat (Matthew 8:24-26), in the middle of a storm. During the storm His disciples expressed their fear and Jesus said, “you of little faith, why are you so afraid?” So, who do I think I am that I don’t need adequate rest too? What am I afraid of?

I wonder how other moms do it. What do they tell themselves so they can just stop doing that “one last thing” and just go to bed? On one hand, I’m trying to finish everything, which I know intellectually is never going to happen. On the other hand, I’m trying to enjoy the peace and quiet and stillness in my house, I love that feeling.

Lord, help me truly see my need for rest, help me accept the fact that I can’t get it all done before I go to bed. Help me to obey and rest in you as I release my known and unknown fears to you. Help me embrace the fact that I can enjoy you with the peace and quiet and stillness of my house at dawn instead of at midnight, when I can barely keep my eyes open! Help me to let go and just go to bed! Night-nite ZZZzzz!

The Promotion!

After six years of elementary school, Isaiah has been promoted to middle school (Jr. High).  In the Fall he’ll be in the 6th grade at a new school with some of his old classmates and lots of new ones.  All this change

I Honor You!

Even though my earthly father has gone home to be with the Lord; I will still honor him, the life he lived and the memories we’ve shared. This Father’s Day I will speak his name and I will recall a memory to honor him and the wisdom he poured into my life. He was a very caring, giving, and sensitive man. He was a “man’s man” and tried to hide his sensitive side, but once you got to know him he could no longer hide it. My brothers always said I could get dad to do things they couldn’t.  That’s because I knew his love language, it was touch.  I touched him often. Even if I was just passing by him or having a conversation with someone else. If he was within arm’s reach…I’d just touch him; his arm or shoulder or head.  And he loved it, I could tell because he’d lean in to the touch. And I loved his leaning in to the touch because he was silently saying, “I receive your love”.

I’m thankful he was a Christian and I find comfort in knowing that I’ll see him again. Thanks for the memories DAD, with all my love always and forever!

Proverbs 17:6 (KJV)
Children’s children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers.

 

Guilty!…As Charged

It wasn’t intentional, it wasn’t planned or premeditated. It’s something that just happened. I had to do it. Every good mother has done exactly what I did. Every mother-to-be will do it too, even if she doesn’t want to do it and vows she won’t do it…she will!!

I used to ignore the comments that exposed my actions, because I had good reasons for doing what I was doing. Lately the hints are getting louder, more direct, harder to ignore. Now What? Do I continue as I have for the past 10 years? Or, do I change without saying a word…hoping my new behavior will be noticed.